In his biannual post to try to temporarily assuage his vague feelings of white guilt, King Wanker Supreme, David Brooks, bemoans the lack of sophistication in his “friend with only a high school degree”, who “[froze] up” when faced with a fancy deli menu listing posh sandwich-delicacies with funny names.

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican.

See!, Poors eat Mexican.

If the internets have any justice, I wish someone would create a meme with a laughing Brooks wearing a big wig, exclaiming “Let them eat fine Italian deli meat!”

P.S. I bet Brooks is the type of person who sniffs at someone with a certificate from a non-B.A.-granting “culinary school” saying it qualifies as higher education.  Thus, I’d venture that most chefs, with “only a high school education”, probably know a fuckton more about cuisine and quality ingredients than a wanker like Brooks.

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  1. lumpkin says:

    If I’d written that paragraph I would never show my face in public again. Isn’t there someone at the NYT in charge of preventing this kind of drivel from getting out the door. Like an editor or someone like that?

  2. lumpkin says:

    Ya know, between on line content and commenters thereon I read prolly a hundred different people every day who are better writers and vastly more insightful than David Brooks. Oh, and they actually know what they are writing about. And they don’t make up dipshit stories like in this embarrassingly obvious fiction. Why oh why does the NYT waste money and column space on people like this shallow fraud and his ilk, such as Dowd and Douthat? This is the reason that millions, like me refuse to pay for any times content because it’s only subsidizing this meaningless crap.

  3. lumpkin says:

    On a roll: The quoted paragraph reads exactly like one of those missives you see on whatever platform Jonah Goldberg and the like write at.

    A liberal acquaintance invited me to a party recently. There was no NASCAR or NFL on that night and the shooting range was already closed so I figured what the heck, might as well go have some fun and observe libs in their natural habitat.

    I’d been there about an hour and hadn’t been able to get into any of the ongoing discussions about global warming and organic kale. One woman was complaining about how her safe space had been violated when she overheard someone talking about hunting animals while getting a double shot chai skinny latte. Another was talking about her efforts to get a Native American genocide instructional program going in the day care where she abandons her children every day.

    I went out on the patio for some fresh air and soon after, I saw this young woman shyly coming from the house towards me. Hi I said, you bored with that crowd too? Yeah, but my husband, the professor of linguistic studies is in there so I have to be too. I get tired of the endless discussions about social justice and organic food and racism. Sometimes I’d like to hang with some real people -- ya know around a keg at a barbecue. How about just getting together for some fun? Do you know what I mean?  Well I did, so I said I’d like to take you up on that except you are stuck with Captain Veggie in there and there are certain lines I don’t cross.

    I know, she said as she slowly walked back into the house, staring at the ground.

    • Metavirus says:

      The inherent insecurity in Goldberg’s stuff is so glaring and obvious.  Because libtarbs must look down on him as a brutish moral savage, he’s peevish and whining.  I think “sneer” is pretty much the best encapsulation of a lot of conservative writing about things like safe spaces and religious persecution.

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