I sort of wonder this every time a Woody Allen movie comes out, so I’ll go ahead and articulate it: why do people continue to go see new Woody Allen movies?

I perhaps should clarify the question. I’m not asking from a place of, that guy’s old and complains a lot. He complained a lot when he was younger too. And it’s not because he’s peaked, I follow a lot of people who have passed their creative prime because you never know, the capability is there, and maybe they’ll still surprise you. For example, David Bowie went through a hell of a long wilderness, but the last two albums he released were actually great. And technically Allen’s about what he’s always been, a mixed bag of a director who works well with actors but has no real visual style (in the same league with a David Mamet, say).

Really, though, the basic problem with Allen is that he hasn’t changed a bit since Manhattan, which is a big, big problem. His cynicism toward people and relationships has long since ceased to be interesting or fresh, and he ran out of ways to express all of it some time ago (i.e. back in 1992). I still occasionally return to Annie Hall and Manhattan, which at least were able to find some kind of reason for living despite all the heartache. But for quite some time he’s just been making films to stave off boredom. Even his better-regarded late movies struck me as mostly pointless. Match Game was a fairly facile Hitchcock imitation, IMO.

I guess I get that some people just kind of like his dialogue, but a couple scattered jokes seems to me to be little justification for listening to the tired laments of a guy who’s had his head up his ass for three decades and hasn’t learned a damn thing during that time. Honestly, if during any 30 year period in your life you learn nothing and change not at all, you’re doing it wrong, and I don’t want to take advice from you.