If a story like this doesn’t convince you of the moral rectitude of marriage equality, then your heart is blacker than sackcloth:
Clay Greene and his partner of 20 years, Harold Scull, lived in Sebastopol, California. As long-time partners, they had named each other beneficiaries of their respective estates and agents for medical decisions. As 2008 began, Scull was 88 years old and in deteriorating health. Greene, 11 years younger, was physically strong, but beginning to show signs of cognitive impairment. As Scull’s health declined, it became apparent that they would need assistance, but the men resisted outside help. In April of 2008, Scull fell down the front steps of their home. Greene immediately called an ambulance and Scull was taken to the hospital. There, the men’s nightmare began.While Scull was hospitalized, Deputy Public Guardians went to the men’s home, took photographs, and commented on the desirability and quality of the furnishings, artwork, and collectibles that the men had collected over their lifetimes. Ignoring Greene entirely, the County petitioned the Court for conservatorship of Scull’s estate. Outrageously referring to Greene only as a “roommate” and failing to disclose their true relationship, the County continued to treat Scull as if he had no family. The County sought immediate temporary authority to revoke Scull’s powers of attorney, to act without further notice, and to liquidate an investment account to pay for Scull’s care. Then, despite being granted only limited powers, and with undue haste, the County arranged for the sale of the men’s personal property, cleaned out their home, terminated their lease, confiscated their truck, and eventually disposed of all of the men’s worldly possessions, including family heirlooms, at a fraction of their value and without any proper inventory or determination of whose property was being sold.
Adding further insult to grave injury, the county removed Greene from their home and confined him to a nursing home against his will–a different placement from his partner. Greene was kept from seeing Scull during this time, and his telephone calls were limited. Three months after Scull was hospitalized, he died, without being able to see Greene again.
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THE GRAPEVINE
What on earth is this??!?!? How can this possibly not be illegal?
I don't see anything in this story relevant to the issue of gay marriage. The idea that the problems could have avoided had they been legally married just makes the story that much worse. We don't want a society where we have to get married to have rights and where single people are considered second-class citizens. Allowing gay marriage makes things more equal between gays and straights -- but it's just a bandage over the larger problem -- that we don't have true legal equality for EVERYONE.
There was a medical directive putting Harold in charge of Clay's medical decisions. That should have priority over any other considerations in determining who signs off of medical decisions, including even if hypothetically Clay was married to someone else, or had blood relatives present. That the medical directive wasn't followed is a serious failing in it's own right. Single people should be able to rely on these directives being followed, allowing gay marriage doesn't address the fundamental problem that occurred here. We still have millions of other unmarried people in the country would want a better guarantee that their legally documented choices would be honored.
Extending marriage rights just makes the system more unfair for unmarried people. What we really need is equality in the eyes of the law (and with respect to the running of important institutions like hospitals and prisons) for everyone married or not. Visitation time should by default be granted to those who request it. If only one or two people request to visit an individual in a hospital or prison, it should be granted in the absence of any specific reason not to grant it. (Restraining orders, disorderly conduct, etc would be legitimate reasons for denying it.) If too many people request to visit and it becomes disruptive, the right should be extended to those two or three people having the best claim to the closest relationship with the patient, in order of marriage, blood, roommates, business partners, clergy, same class in school, etc. But the rule should never have been put in place to automatically deny visitation to anyone not related by blood or marriage. Far too many people in the county lack blood and marriage connections, while still having good friends who should be allowed visits.
Nor is the question of whether Harold and Clay were married or not relevant to the fact that the county has no authority to sell Clay's belongings. Nor is it relevant to the issue of Clay being forced into a nursing home against his will. The right to be secure in one's person and possessions is a right we all should have regardless of marital status.
The county, the hospital, and the auction company need to be help accountable for the wrongs they've done. Furthermore, we need to prevent similar atrocities from happening anywhere else in this nation. For one, having people forced into nursing homes against their will is not an isolated occurrence. Nor is the wrongful confiscation of property. We need a nationwide effort to stop both these kinds of injustices from happening to anyone, anywhere in this country, ever again.
I have nothing against gays being married. What I oppose is married couples receiving ANY special treatment or rights that are not equally granted to EVERYONE else married or not. Everyone straight, gay, single, whatever should be equal in the eyes of the law and our major institutions. Ultimately, with a sane and fair legal system respecting everyone's rights, marriage would have no more legal significance than other religious rituals like baptism. It's only when the rights of millions of single people are constantly trampled on, that millions of people are compelled to seek the legal privileges that come with being married.
Interesting. Extending this situation, my elderly mother, who suffered from Alzheimers disease and lived the later part of her life in a memory care facility, had written a very clear "Advanced Directive", specifically expressing her refusal of any and all medical interventions, including anti-biotics. We found it repeatedly difficult to have her written wishes, her RIGHTS, honored. Not from care-giver malice, and surely from "good intention", or perhaps due to our current litigious society and the accompaying CYA no matter what. But, bottomline, her clearly expressed rights were ignored on several occasions and we felt at a loss about what else to do to ensure that this Directive was followed.