(0 comments)A friend on Facebook had up this funny bit:
Must inform everyone that in the new ‘Conservative’ translation of the Bible, Jesus asks the lepers what healthcare plan they have before healing them.
I responded with something that, in my humble opinion, was trés clever:Archaeologists recently unearthed one of the rarest finds in Christendom. It was an application (printed on papyrus) in which Jesus asked those seeking his aid whether they had ever (a) voted for a Pharisee, (b) “experimented” with palm leaf in hebrew school, or (c) had impure thoughts about the neighbor’s wife or farm animals.As recounted in the Book of Forms, if any of the boxes were checked yes, Jesus would often cast them out and denounce them as “wicked and contemptible Natosees!” (which is where we get the word “Nazi” from, incidentally).
Suffice it to say that Jesus was not a believer in universal miracle coverage.
It turns out that Jesus was just as intolerant as latter-day republicans! All true!
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Fast Food
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Leave it to TBogg:
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It’s amazing to me that Mitt Romney brings up France as a scary comparison point to himself so often when he spent years there and speaks the language. It’s such a minor point, but telling. Of all the people running for president, Mitt Romney has to be the most aware that the rightwing caricature of ... (0 comments)Mother Teresa Doesn't Deserve Sainthood
Case in point. It’s amazing how all the famous/respected Catholic figures from the 1990s have turned out to be incredibly corrupt, isn’t it? I’m sure they’re somehow connected. Of course, as I’m a Protestant I know little about such things. (1 comments)I Fixed It! Ban Sitting Politicians From Running For Another Office
Wonkette reminded me of one of the provisions that I want to write into my fantasy Constitution:No person who holds any elected office shall be permitted to seek election to any other office until he shall have permanently vacated his current post.
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DOWN THE VINE
Syndication
Wingnt's rewriting history one page at a time. While I know that most of you are not Christians it just dumbfounds me that such a fundamentalist group of so called Christians can take the Word of God and rewrite it. And as they remove the parts that they do not like but still call it the Word of God is just fascinating in a sick perverted way.
It willl be the word of Gop. What's wrong with that?
Nothing, if you believe that Gop is God.
At least the GOP believes that God is a Republican
Really? Maybe a moderate Republican, or a far right God that believes in tourer, stoning, and damning everyone to Hell? They have so many fringe sects supporting them that it is scary, and none of them can agree on anything except that they know best and have the right to tell the rest of us how to live.
actually, a council decided way back what was in and what was out. for example, they decided to leave out the stuff on reincarnation lest people be insufficiently scared of hellfire and act up….and then, all the translations and politically influenced versions. so it's already been rewritten a zillion times anyway. i think it's actually not necessarily a bad thing now, because that gives an opportunity for people to realize that it's not some perfect text but a human, ongoing document *very* open to interpretation and absolutely not error free. if they left it alone, it would be harder for some to see that.
all the more reason why the idea of the bible being the direct word of god is nonsense
You have the right to believe as you will, and so do I. But neither of us have the right to determine what others believe. What sets us apart from our fanatic opponents is the the believe that we do not have the right to make others believe the way we do. You cannot accept that their is a God, and I cannot accept the concept that every thing around us is the product of a large cosmic accident. But we both agree that we do not have the right to force our views on others.
While I agree whole-heartedly schu with our "right" to believe what we want-therein lies a problem with some of these fanatics.
See, we now have military academies, teaching their "soldiers" that Christianity is no longer an "option", but a requirement. We have upper-class military in the Mid-East saying on camera that they are "determined" to witness and "Save" the heathenous Muslims.
We had teabaggers carrying crosses to small rallies as well as 9/12, Bible verses on signs saying that Obama is the "Anti-Christ", people not only wanting to re-write the Bible-but re-writing American History.
Closer to home: I've had 3 nurses walk out on me, (AFTER recieving their pay of course). Why? Problems? Nope, I was probably the quietest, non-demanding patient they ever had to care for. The "problem" is that I'm not a Christian, I study and live by, Eastern Thought-in other words, instead of pain medications, I take LEGAL herbal supplements and meditate--BUT-when they began lecturing me on the "evilness" of MY beliefs, and insisted on trying to "save" me-I politely refused, and they left calling me a satan worshiper. I had a lady that did my laundry constantly bringing me religious books and movies-the 3 movies were ALL on Revelations/End Times and the Anti-Christ.. When she dropped off my clothes one day, she saw a poster of Obama that my son sent me laying on the bed. When I refused to tear it up-she refused to help me anymore-told me to call my Uncle, a Catholic Priest, and tell him to call her because I "obviously need some serious help". My Uncle knows my beliefs, accepts them, and even takes some books to read every time he visits. I've had local DOCTORS tell me that my disability-the results of a genetic disorder-isn't getting any better and may even be worse BECAUSE I'm not a "Christian". Times have changed. Religion is no longer just a "personal" choice. It's tied up in Business, Politics, the Media, Education, Science-and even HealthCare.
And I thought the South was bad??!!
"And as they remove the parts that they do not like but still call it the Word of God is just fascinating in a sick perverted way".
Isn't this what religious authorities and kings and emperors have always done? Nothing new here. Whoever can convince the sheep he speaks for God wins.
God might want to reconsider his choice of political party. He is on the losing side.
Wait! This just in- God HAS switched political parties -- he is now the official deity of the Taliban!
Looks like Tom Delay will have to start going to church in South Waziristan!
But they have to rewrite the Bible to justify torture, watching people die from no health care, and from living like Pharisees.Otherwise they cannot abide calling themselves Christians. .
Wow, Elaine. What a harrowing story! Hopefully you can find thestrength to weather the storms of ignorant religious sociopaths likethe ones you describe.
Sorry to hear that you are suffering from a prime example of why people who call themselves Christians actual are not. A Christian should live his life as an example and leave the judgments to the Lord, as that is his job. Unfortunately, most of today's fundamentalist "Christians" are Pharisees in disguise. Something that I point out to my son when he starts harping on how everyone else should live their lives.