... (0 comments)Great news about a suspected terror plot in New York City being foiled:
“Four men from upstate New York were arrested Wednesday night in what the authorities said was a plot to bomb two synagogues in the Bronx and shoot down military planes at Stewart Air National Guard base in Newburgh, N.Y.This of course leaves us with a huge problem. As we’ve been told by the GOP and Harry Reid, our prisons in the United States are incapable of holding these omnipotent arch-criminals (who likely possess powerful super powers). The obvious solution to assuage the nebulous NIMBYism sweeping the country right now is to (without trial of course) lock the suspects away in the Phantom Zone and blast them into the dark reaches of space. Problem solved!The men were arrested around 9 p.m. after planting what they believed to be bombs in cars outside the Riverdale Temple and the nearby Riverdale Jewish Center, officials said. But the men did not know the bombs, provided by an informant with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, were fake.
The arrests capped what officials described as a “painstaking investigation” that began in June 2008 involving an F.B.I. agent who had been told of the men’s desire to attack targets in America by a federal informant. As part of the plot, the men intended to fire guided stinger missiles at military aircraft at Stewart International Airport, officials said.”
Here’s Hilzoy with some other good suggestions:I assume that if it’s too dangerous to move people at Guantanamo to the United States, it must be much too dangerous to allow these jihadists to run loose in our prisons. After all, they might provide financing for other jihadists from their supermax cells, or radicalize other prisoners, or use special Terrorist Mind Control Techniques to create a whole army of brainwashed convicts under their complete control.Jor-El!!!!!!!I’d suggest killing them, cutting them into pieces, and shipping their parts to parts unknown immediately (trials? who can afford trials under these circumstances?), if I weren’t afraid that some hitherto unknown al Qaeda trick might allow their reanimated body parts to slither around in search of one another and, eventually, reconstitute themselves as the Islamofascist Undead. Earlier, I thought we should send prisoners into space, but that was before I realized that that would allow them to join forces with the Klingons.
In fact, I can’t think of a single thing to do that would not make matters worse.
We’re doomed.
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Nice bit of satire, unfortunately most people do not understand satire today, so expect to receive some heat for this.
Satire is good if it does not ignore too many important facts. Unfortunately Hilzoy ignores one huge fact: these Gitmo denizens were not caught on videotape at the local U.S. bank trying to hold it up while wearing g-string panties on their heads as a disguise. Most of them were captured on the battlefield where there is precious little time to call out their miranda rights in whatever language they may or may not speak. Very little attention to taking fingerprints and gathering DNA like all the latest gee-whiz shows on TV. So when they enter into the U.S. prison system and are on soil for some reason, some folks think that we should afford them the rights of U.S. citizens. Well with only the eye witness of some schmuck soldier saying he was building an IED when we caught him, and no proper processing of evidence, this angel will go free. At that point he might cut Hilzoy up into pieces (at least two pieces, a head and a body…we have seen that on viral videos…..oh, and the unfortunate Hilzoy would be attempting to breathe and scream while the cutting was in progress). So the problem is not omnipotent terrorists ( or should I say omnipotent agents of man-made disasters since we don't like to say terrorism or terrorist anymore), but rather a substantial proportion of our populace with omni-impotence of thought and a willingness to look beyond the facts to their own fanciful world where real danger can only be imagined in comic book terms.
I have looked our enemy in the eye, I have smelled him and seen his handywork. I have helped save his life and healed his body after our heroes shot him. I know that most Americans are on the right side of this battle against an enemy that has pledged to annihilate us. I prefer freedom.
Hmmmm. This seems familiar somehow…
I live in nyc and ride the subways every day. terrorists lurk everywhere. if you see something say something.