Great news about a suspected terror plot in New York City being foiled:
“Four men from upstate New York were arrested Wednesday night in what the authorities said was a plot to bomb two synagogues in the Bronx and shoot down military planes at Stewart Air National Guard base in Newburgh, N.Y.This of course leaves us with a huge problem. As we’ve been told by the GOP and Harry Reid, our prisons in the United States are incapable of holding these omnipotent arch-criminals (who likely possess powerful super powers). The obvious solution to assuage the nebulous NIMBYism sweeping the country right now is to (without trial of course) lock the suspects away in the Phantom Zone and blast them into the dark reaches of space. Problem solved!The men were arrested around 9 p.m. after planting what they believed to be bombs in cars outside the Riverdale Temple and the nearby Riverdale Jewish Center, officials said. But the men did not know the bombs, provided by an informant with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, were fake.
The arrests capped what officials described as a “painstaking investigation” that began in June 2008 involving an F.B.I. agent who had been told of the men’s desire to attack targets in America by a federal informant. As part of the plot, the men intended to fire guided stinger missiles at military aircraft at Stewart International Airport, officials said.”
Here’s Hilzoy with some other good suggestions:I assume that if it’s too dangerous to move people at Guantanamo to the United States, it must be much too dangerous to allow these jihadists to run loose in our prisons. After all, they might provide financing for other jihadists from their supermax cells, or radicalize other prisoners, or use special Terrorist Mind Control Techniques to create a whole army of brainwashed convicts under their complete control.Jor-El!!!!!!!I’d suggest killing them, cutting them into pieces, and shipping their parts to parts unknown immediately (trials? who can afford trials under these circumstances?), if I weren’t afraid that some hitherto unknown al Qaeda trick might allow their reanimated body parts to slither around in search of one another and, eventually, reconstitute themselves as the Islamofascist Undead. Earlier, I thought we should send prisoners into space, but that was before I realized that that would allow them to join forces with the Klingons.
In fact, I can’t think of a single thing to do that would not make matters worse.
We’re doomed.
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Judge Posner for the Win: Drastic Action Necessary To Un-F*ck U.S. Patent Regime
Sometimes you really have to hand it to Judge Posner.The sheer number of patents in the U.S. is fueling frivolous litigation and drastic action is needed to make patents more difficult to obtain and easier to invalidate, U.S. Circuit Judge Richard Posner of the Seventh Circuit said Tuesday. > more ... (0 comments)
Rep. Michele Bachmann Threatens To Leave Minnesota Over Gay Marriage
So much awesome:Congresswoman Michele Bachmann threatened to leave Minnesota today if the state goes ahead with its plans to legalize gay marriage. In an interview with a local television station, the conservative firebrand said she believes God will destroy Minneapolis once the legislation is enacted, and wants to be far away when the reckoning happens. > more ... (4 comments)
Polled GOP Respondents Say Obama Hangnail Worse Than Holocaust
Announcement: Ignorant fucktards who think all this Benghazi bullshit is the worst thing to to happen since Jesus died are required to report to their local suicide booth immediately.… there’s no doubt about how mad Republicans are about Benghazi. 41% say they consider this to be the biggest political scandal in American history > more ... (2 comments)
Bioshock Infinite Causes Christian Gamer To Cry And Make Piddles
Some excitable christian fundamentalist nerd got all worked up into a lather because the game Bioshock Infinite required the main character to undergo a baptism.“As baptism of the Holy spirit is at the center of Christianity – of which I am a devout believer – I am basically being forced to make a choice between committing extreme blasphemy by my actions > more ... (1 comments)
Just read this: This afternoon Senator Reid asked unanimous consent to go to conference on the concurrent resolution on the Budget. Senator Cruz was unavailable to be on the floor at this time to object. Out of respect for the long tradition of comity in the Senate, Senator Reid withdrew his request. Your eyes might drift to > more ... (1 comments)Why It's Important For Atheists To Stop Worrying About Religionists' Fee-Fees
Sean Carroll rightly calling on atheists to speak out and stop being polite about it:We have a responsibility to get the word out—to not be wishy-washy on the question of religion as a way of knowing, but to be clear and direct and loud about how reality really works. > more ... (1 comments)
We Paid For the Shadow Demon, We're Gonna Use the Shadow Demon
I realize that of all things featured in life’s rich tapestry this hardly rates a mention, but apparently another Dungeons and Dragons movie is making noise in the ‘Wood: The studio is actually quite far along in the development of the project, as it will use a script by Wrath Of The Titans and Red Riding > more ... (1 comments)The Loudly Ignorant Become Less So Once Shown They're Ignorant
I’m surprised that any of the fervently ignorant people surveyed in this study ever ended up moderating their positions. I wonder if the researchers included teabaggers in the sample population…
Four researchers at three different institutions joined forces to ask a simple question: why is it that people have such extreme positions on subjects that are rather complicated and nuanced? > more ... (0 comments)
I’m a sucker for arty books and paper inventions. (Not necessarily books about art, although those can be interesting too, if unaccountably heavy and given to making my floors creak.) The Museum of Lost Wonder, various items in the Wondermark Goodsery (no relation), the Edward Gorey Dracula Playset (of course), and pop-up books of > more ... (0 comments)Today's Trivia: Presidential IQs
Just found this Wikipedia list that has IQ scores for all U.S. Presidents (excluding Obama). The biggest surprise is how low Wilson comes considering his background and education, though it kinda makes sense considering how much stock he put in his own intellect, only to make the same mistakes again and again and never learn > more ... (1 comments)Says Library Right There in the Title, That's Why
Apparently, folks ain’t yet tired of shifting water from Bucket A to Bucket B and back, or of moving piles of sand about with tweezers, and took the opportunity last year to piss in over 450 collective libraries’ ears regarding such nefarious libri malvagi as Captain Underpants and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time > more ... (0 comments)Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love
Watched the Spike Jonze Director’s Series collection last night — man, I had not realized he had his fingers in so many of my yewt’s wonderful musical pies. Cannonball? Check. Sabotage? Check-check. Da Funk? Checkity-check-check. But what really made me want to do a little dance and/or make a little love was watching Christopher > more ... (0 comments)That's a Funny Joke. Wait, What?
File this under things that are obviously untrue but that I don’t really care that much about. It’s all about the lobbying campaign anyway with these things, but you have to wonder if it were actually true, wouldn’t she be starring in movies beside the already tired Iron Man franchise? (2 comments)Tsarnaev going to go through the criminal justice system. The right choice, but somehow I knew the Administration would call this one right. This is one thing they’ve been both right and firm on in the past. (2 comments)Recent Trackbacks
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Nice bit of satire, unfortunately most people do not understand satire today, so expect to receive some heat for this.
Satire is good if it does not ignore too many important facts. Unfortunately Hilzoy ignores one huge fact: these Gitmo denizens were not caught on videotape at the local U.S. bank trying to hold it up while wearing g-string panties on their heads as a disguise. Most of them were captured on the battlefield where there is precious little time to call out their miranda rights in whatever language they may or may not speak. Very little attention to taking fingerprints and gathering DNA like all the latest gee-whiz shows on TV. So when they enter into the U.S. prison system and are on soil for some reason, some folks think that we should afford them the rights of U.S. citizens. Well with only the eye witness of some schmuck soldier saying he was building an IED when we caught him, and no proper processing of evidence, this angel will go free. At that point he might cut Hilzoy up into pieces (at least two pieces, a head and a body…we have seen that on viral videos…..oh, and the unfortunate Hilzoy would be attempting to breathe and scream while the cutting was in progress). So the problem is not omnipotent terrorists ( or should I say omnipotent agents of man-made disasters since we don't like to say terrorism or terrorist anymore), but rather a substantial proportion of our populace with omni-impotence of thought and a willingness to look beyond the facts to their own fanciful world where real danger can only be imagined in comic book terms.
I have looked our enemy in the eye, I have smelled him and seen his handywork. I have helped save his life and healed his body after our heroes shot him. I know that most Americans are on the right side of this battle against an enemy that has pledged to annihilate us. I prefer freedom.
Hmmmm. This seems familiar somehow…
I live in nyc and ride the subways every day. terrorists lurk everywhere. if you see something say something.