Thursday, May 21, 2009

NYC Terror Plot Foiled; We Must Now Shoot the Terrorists into Space



Great news about a suspected terror plot in New York City being foiled:
"Four men from upstate New York were arrested Wednesday night in what the authorities said was a plot to bomb two synagogues in the Bronx and shoot down military planes at Stewart Air National Guard base in Newburgh, N.Y.

The men were arrested around 9 p.m. after planting what they believed to be bombs in cars outside the Riverdale Temple and the nearby Riverdale Jewish Center, officials said. But the men did not know the bombs, provided by an informant with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, were fake.

The arrests capped what officials described as a "painstaking investigation" that began in June 2008 involving an F.B.I. agent who had been told of the men's desire to attack targets in America by a federal informant. As part of the plot, the men intended to fire guided stinger missiles at military aircraft at Stewart International Airport, officials said."
This of course leaves us with a huge problem. As we've been told by the GOP and Harry Reid, our prisons in the United States are incapable of holding these omnipotent arch-criminals (who likely possess powerful super powers). The obvious solution to assuage the nebulous NIMBYism sweeping the country right now is to (without trial of course) lock the suspects away in the Phantom Zone and blast them into the dark reaches of space. Problem solved!Here's Hilzoy with some other good suggestions:
I assume that if it's too dangerous to move people at Guantanamo to the United States, it must be much too dangerous to allow these jihadists to run loose in our prisons. After all, they might provide financing for other jihadists from their supermax cells, or radicalize other prisoners, or use special Terrorist Mind Control Techniques to create a whole army of brainwashed convicts under their complete control.

I'd suggest killing them, cutting them into pieces, and shipping their parts to parts unknown immediately (trials? who can afford trials under these circumstances?), if I weren't afraid that some hitherto unknown al Qaeda trick might allow their reanimated body parts to slither around in search of one another and, eventually, reconstitute themselves as the Islamofascist Undead. Earlier, I thought we should send prisoners into space, but that was before I realized that that would allow them to join forces with the Klingons.

In fact, I can't think of a single thing to do that would not make matters worse.

We're doomed.
Jor-El!!!!!!!

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