About political theorems, Joe the Plumber is teeming with a lot of news:*

People don’t understand the dictionary–it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do–what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.
Don’t you just love the confident, completely fact-free way that Joe the Fake Plumber demonstrates his limitless ignorance?

At this point, I’ve forgotten why conservative bigots are uncomfortable with The Gays around their children… Is it because of some misplaced fear of molestation or do they think that The Gays exude some kind of gay pixie dust that might spontaneously cause their kids to sing Judy Garland songs?

Trying to understand the primitive conservative mind is truly painful…

* Pop culture reference go over your head?

  1. Gherald says:

    Religious conservatives honestly believe being gay is a sin, a choice, and a learned behavior. Operating on those assumptions, it makes perfect sense for them to try and keep it away from their children.

    • Metavirus says:

      of all the available justifications, I think the generic "they're sinners!" is the weakest. after all, most christians in this country would likely not shelter their kids away from a recent divorcée neighbor who is now living with his new girlfriend, under the rubric of "they're fornicators!". similarly, catholic parents would likely not shelter their kids from the same divorcée under the rubric of "they got divorced!". finally, most christian parents wouldn't shelter their kids from being alone with Jews, Muslims or Buddhists under the general rubric of "they're haven't accepted Jesus Christ — they're going to Hell!".

      as close as I can tell, JTP's reflexive disgust with the idea of his kids being around queers has to do with a latent notion that gay people are more often than not pedophiles (which is laughably absurd).

      • Gherald says:

        Divorcées and fornicators aren't good analogs as far as children are concerned. To certain Christians — of which I was one — sodomites are more in the category of, say, strippers and prostitutes, who I'm sure JTP wouldn't want around his children around either.

        • Metavirus says:

          still doesn't wash in my view. fornicators are just bad in the sinner category as prostitutes and sodomites. exposing their children to other divorcees, fornicators and people of other religions should, in their mind, be just as bad for their children as exposing them to gays. especially considering that fornication, divorce and being of another religion are CHOICES, while being gay is not. after all, if kids know that their parents' friends are fornicating outside of marriage, might not their children think that fornication is okay? i think the real underlying problem christian parents have with kids being exposed to gay people is that kids might somehow come to believe that being BIGOTED against gay people is not okay.

          • Gherald says:

            But being a stripper or a prostitute or gay is seen as an actively immoral choice that is unhealthy for children to be around.

            Fornication is a broader sin that could "happen to anyone". There are degrees to it — lechers and sluts aren't considered healthy for children to be around either.

            Basically, parents primarily try to shelter their kids from two things: 1) Danger. 2) inappropriate sexual things.

            As for divorce, it's easier for them to explain to a child why it's wrong for families to break up than it is to explain why homosexual behaviors are wrong…because, erm, they still have much to learn about heterosexual behaviors.

      • DarthBunghole says:

        So What
        He doesn't like faggots. He should let his boys hang out with some Catholic priests! Thats it, those priests will protect Joe's kids from all those evil homos.
        I'm a man and I'm not gay and niether is my boyfriend.

  2. vjack says:

    I'm bummed that this tool already won idiot of the week on my blog. If he hadn't, this would surely qualify. Hell, maybe he'll be the first 2-time winner.

  3. Kevin says:

    I wouldnt let Joe the Plumber anywhere near my nephew, hows that….

    oh and I wonder if his imaginary business is being imaginarily taxed by the socialist….

  4. Taz98027 says:

    That quote reminds me of the "porch monkey" scene in clerks 2 where Randal is unaware that porch monkey is a racial slur against black people..

    He wants to take it back and make it a term of endearment. then sports a "Porch monkey 4 life" t shirt later in the film.. It was shocking yet funny.

    Ignorance can be amusing at times.

  5. oldguise says:

    Well, Gay is a catching disease, of course… and even if your kids are immune to the virus (thanks to your fabulous — er, I mean, fantastic genetics), they still run the risk of being molested, because everyone knows that all of The Gays are child molesters.

    It's a hard fact, put down right in the King James Bible, which Joe the Plumber has obviously read and analyzed exhaustively.

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