I recently reconnected with one of my favorite professors, Dr. Monza Naff, from my old college days. She wrote a book recently on a topic that I’d never considered.

Think for a moment; why is it that we, as a society, have come up with rituals for certain momentous life events (e.g., birth, the passing into adulthood, marriage, death, etc.) and not divorce? Regardless of my general views on religion, I can understand the human need to mark chapters in the human experience with some kind of ritualized happening. When it comes to the big ones, like death, the rationale becomes even clearer.

Here is a short writeup of Dr. Naff’s book, Must We Say We Did Not Love? The Need for Divorce Rituals in Our Time:

After completing the legal process, adults and children alike may still feel the need for some kind of rite of passage to cement their intentions so they can move on into the future instead of staying stuck in the past. Parents may want to offer their children greater security and ease in the transition. Based on the author’s 25 years’ work co-creating rituals with divorcing couples and families, this book shows you how. By sharing engaging stories of real people in varied circumstances, Naff highlights key elements to consider in creating a divorce ritual that’s appropriate for you. The ritual can be simple and informal or structured and intricate, honoring each person’s beliefs and/or philosophy.

Grounded in a brilliant analysis of the psycho-spiritual value of ritual, this book offers you a way to deeper peace and resolution through a 4-element process, flexible enough to fit your feelings and values, your children’s needs, and your goals for the future. Even in the midst of pain and anger, you can create an opportunity for healing.